Thursday, August 21, 2014

tranquilosophy: not knowing

image courtesy of izquotes


While teaching on Tuesday, I came across beloved Pema Chodron's recent book Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change. As I opened the text, I saw the above quote by Agnes de Mille in the Overview. Upon reading it, I was smitten. It was just what I needed to hear.

Despite the deep desire to plan and know my next move, life has a way of offering gentle, well, alternatives. Sometimes in the form of unplanned transitions, shifts, or options.

I find myself longing for obvious clarity on a regular basis. Almost as if there should be a message in the clouds crystallizing the next move.

It's a constant dance between planning and spontaneity. Being prepared and being surprised. Staying open and staying stuck.

My discomfort with not knowing has been a lifelong journey. I enjoy plans and knowing next steps in a calculated manner.

Over the years I've shared this angst here and my July 10, 2012 post is a perfect example. Freshly on my semi-sabbatical, feeling discombobulated after 13 years of pouring my soul into Tranquil Space, dealing with deep grief over the passing of my Gramma, and wondering what was next.

This wonder continues despite having a trajectory. Basking in not being sure, although uncomfortable, can be a delightfully fluid space.

There will illness, loss, drought, hellos, and goodbyes along the way. Staying open to life's surprises encourages a softening of rigidity and an awakening to leaping in the dark. Bisous. x


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5 comments:

cooktravelyoga said...

I needed to hear this today. Thank you :)

kimberly wilson said...

delighted it resonated! x

Charity Lamprecht said...

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Perfect timing-I just started listening to The Desire Map by Danielle http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/
It can be used WITH your fab planner and other tools.
How do you want to feel today?!

Hayley Macon said...

Thank you, Kimberly. It's really helpful when people are open about their struggles. You have achieved so much on a truly authentic path and it's easy for those of us who are at an earlier stage on that path to think that one day we'll reach our goals and everything will be totally happy and consistently easier. This is a reminder that we have to come to terms with uncertainty, no matter how difficult that is, because it's a constant thing in life.

Lynne from NY said...

I've been told that what happens is what you need. Sometimes it doesn't make sense but you have to trust the universe. I loved this post, it made me think a lot today. Thank you for sharing....