Wednesday, February 20, 2013

tranquilosophy: one year later

 embroidered cupcake tea towel
 delivering flowers to gramma
 quick afternoon hike in wichita mountains
 embroidered button heart tea towel
final evening in oklahoma curled up with le pug + somerset life

today marks one year that my gramma has been gone.

i came home to spend the anniversary with family and it was special to visit her grave this afternoon. it's been a tough journey of healing as i've openly shared on this blog.

what's surprised me the most is how much energy the grief process takes. it literally sucks energy from the system. i remember waking up many days in 2012 unable to move. literally feeling encased in concrete.

on the other hand, it helps open eyes to transition and making the most of every day. there is always a silver lining. somewhere. deep down.

although gramma had 99.5 years on this earth, i still feel she was taken much too soon and have a twinge of envy when i see grandmotherly love posted by online acquaintances. i miss her kisses terribly.

my journey home at this time has been one of healing, immersing myself in days of creativity (hello embroidery), and getting more rest than one should need. grieving takes time. it takes energy. and it feels like the world is moving in slow motion while you're treading through mud. the whole experience is surreal. and part of life's cycle.

i picture this journey similar to a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. the metamorphosis takes patience, time, and energy. after the deep grieving process you emerge with wet wings and a little wobbly, but ready to explore life in a brand new way.

i'm grateful for this exploration. although i wish i had a 100.5-year-old gramma to do it with me or at least cheer me along. onward and upward. with an angel sprinkling fairy dust on us all. bisous. x


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5 comments:

sarahspiegelhoff said...

Kimberly, thank you for sharing. Your grandmother sounds like a lovely and inspiring woman. It takes courage to document your grief process and through all this it appears that you have grown your butterfly wings.

Melissa Grant said...

This is such a lovely post. It's interesting timing for me because today I wore a pearl ring I have from my maternal grandmother who passed two years ago. As I move through my busy work day, it helps me stop, feel love, and remember the bigger picture of life. I also adore your pictures. Have a blissful stay at home...

Janet said...

Thank you for sharing Kimberly. I'm always amazed at how much you've accomplished and how much you continue to take on. At times it seems almost like you have super powers. Your posts like this one just show me that you and I are not so different after all. We have to make it through all the ups and downs that are a part of life. These kinds of photos and stories are what I'd share with my friends, and that's how I feel when I read them on your blog. Just sharing amongst friends. Peace and love.

Lynne from NY said...

This is a beautiful post, I'm so glad you've shared this part of your journey. If we live long enough, we are going to lose someone special. Hearing what you've done or what your readers say may help when our time comes.
Your Grandma was a lovely soul, her light continues to shine through you.

Lynne from NY said...

One more thing, love your photos - don't ever stop! The button embroidery is adorable. The pink one on the bottom looks like a smiley :D