Thursday, April 19, 2012

tranquilosophy: grieving mindfully

moi, gramma + sir louis in oklahoma may 2011

it's no secret i miss my gramma. heaps. luckily there are great resources out there to help with processing the grief and there are so many lovely memories. like the one above. i adored my gramma and you can see it in the way i'm looking at her in this photo. she was my (s)hero. it's been hard and tomorrow is 2 whole months that she's been gone. i know it will be a tough day. 

on monday i finished grieving mindfully: a compassionate and spiritual guide to coping with loss by dr. sameet kumar and can't recommend it highly enough. for this week's tranquilosophy piece, i wanted to share a few excerpts from the book that i found to be incredibly powerful. i hope you will, too. we all experience loss in some form - relationships, job, dreams, transitions - and my wish is that you will hurt a little less thanks to dr. kumar's words of wisdom.

"the experience of grief challenges our deepest sense of who we are."

"grieving mindfully is the process of putting the pieces back together consciously, while appreciating who or what you have lost, who you are, and who you want to be."

"every time you lose a relationship or are faced with uncertainty, you grieve the loss of a predictable and safe world."

"your thoughts, your feelings, your identity after loss all become vehicles for your own evolution."

"with mindful awareness of your grief, you can move closer to people in your life who matter the most, and change habits or ideas that have been keeping you from living fully."

"grief ultimately teaches everyone the same lesson: to value the relationships, experiences, and time that you have in this present moment."

"although grief stems from the loss of a relationship in some form, it can also be the beginning of a much larger journey - a journey into the very meaning of your life."

"when we are shaken out of our everyday experiences by intense emotions, we have an opportunity to rededicate ourselves to spiritual practice, and to come to terms with our lives, our relationships, and our experience of the world."

"being aware of how your loved one lived, what his or her role was in your life, and how you can experiencing the loss of that person can turn your grief journey into a vehicle for your spiritual growth. without this person's presence in and loss from your life, you would not have this unique opportunity to appreciate life and love, and seek out personal growth."

"it is important to realize that the person you are grieving - the relationship that has been affected the most - is still alive, in your mind."

"grief has the power to radically change your life, to encourage a more meaningful, richer life, but only when its lessons are manifested in the way you live your life every day."

"in this loss, your identity becomes unstable; you feel an eerie sense of life going on, yet being radically different."

"the only certain answer in the face of loss is not how or why it happened, but what the nature of your life afterward will be."

"it means approaching each relationship with the awareness that you may never see this person again."

"mindfulness teaches you that it all starts with accepting the preciousness of this very moment."

"remember impermanence and do not take a single relationship, a single day of life, for granted."

"but the ultimate memorial to any relationship you have lost is self-improvement, letting yourself grow, adapt, and change into a better person, integrating the loss into a better life."

"some days, the meaning of your life may not be to solve world hunger or alleviate poverty - it may simply be to appreciate the sunset or feel the breeze on your face."

"seize the vastness of this very moment."

i love and miss you, gramma. bisous. x


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1 comment:

moi said...

I just finished working through the book and found I've underlined many of the same passages.

I am learning grief is a paradox. Despite the pain, we have the potential to grow and change into a better person as we integrate the loss.

And difficult for me to grass at first, it's the power to use the suffering to cultivate mindfulness, compassion and a greater connection with others.

Thanks so much for sharing your journey. xoxo