Wednesday, June 27, 2012

tranquilosophy: the story of scars

surgery scar displayed while smelling lavender in luberon

while at the write your heart out, washington workshop last month, we were given a writing prompt to start the day and it was to tell the story about a scar in a few minutes. considering my two surgeries in 2010 which left prominent scars on my body, i felt like i was being given an easy challenge. here's what flowed:

"my scar. on my right shoulder. oh, and my left thumb. remnants of a year of painful surgeries not yet healed. another scar is over my heart. it mourns the loss of my gramma and it hurts very much. my scars are a sort of battle wound and they have left me slightly defeated and royally exhausted. scars take their toll, yet also build character. they have weakened my strength, but not my will."

i can across this a few days ago and wanted to share it with you. june 20 was the 4-month anniversary of my gramma's death. as i was falling asleep that night, i was overwhelmed with grief and began to whimper. it wasn't until the next morning that i realized it was an anniversary. despite knowing it consciously, my body new it and reminded me with intense grief. 

do you have scars? if so, what are the stories they tell? take a few minutes to bring their stories to life. feel free to share in the comments section or in your own journal. bisous. x

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Bronwyn said...

Thanks for this beautiful post, Kimberly. Remember, a scar is not only evidence of injury. A scar is evidence of healing.

Nicole said...

My visible scars are evidence of my favorite accomplishments: my daughters. Sometimes the gravity of my stretchmarks hits me... I made a human being. A. Human. Being. With my body. Twice. Unbelievable.

Then there are the scars I can feel, but can't see. I often say that people who go through what I've gone through either become serial killers or dedicate their lives to soothing and helping prevent scars on others. I didn't ask for those scars, but I'm thankful to have them so that I can be strong enough to help those who are too weak to shoulder theirs.

Sarah said...

I cannot see my scar, much like the scar on your heart, but the mental anguish associated with that scar is something that still haunts me from time to time, but has also made me stronger. It is a scar on my brain from where they removed a tumor (benign-thank God for small favors) November 2011 of this year. And everytime I am able to go up into headstand in my yoga practice, it means so much to me on so many levels. It makes me feel like I have beat it and I have.

Jane Hinchliffe said...

Hi Kimberly, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing so much of your life with us, in particular, your recent bereavement. I thought you may want to read my post about my granny passing away 22 years ago today. I know just what you are going through... - you are not alone...

chicellarose said...

Although it's been twelve years since my dad died, I had a really off day on June 23rd. I couldn't figure it out until that night when I realized it was his birthday. I think this is the first year I forgot ... and that made it a little sadder.

I also have a physical scar where a lump was removed and thankfully it was benign. My mom died from breast cancer so it was a scary time. I always seem to remember her birthday though - maybe it's because it's also the anniversary of when my husband proposed.

Hugs for your sadness.

Marian Ostrowski said...

Kimberly, thank you for sharing your experiences with us—we learn and grow from you and with you.

Scars, I have a few…two from a hysterectomy and a previous ovarian surgery, and one from an appendectomy. They’re healed—maybe a bit achy from time to time despite the years that have passed. Now they remind me that I behaved with less grace than I could have or should have in the moment and I strive to do better. Fear does funny things to you.

My internal scars come from the loss of my sister-in-law/best friend from ovarian cancer, the loss of my sweet dog Haley just months later, and my home being burglarized the month before, which knocked me off my feet more than I care to admit. Again, fear does funny things to you. The thing is I’m counting on the internal scars to heal just as the external ones did. Yes, achy some days, downright painful others, but maybe just maybe I can behave with grace in spite of it all.

kimberly wilson said...

wow, thank you for sharing your scar stories. so powerful and filled with lessons. they make us stronger! x