it's funny how life throws curve balls. constantly. recently i had my heart broken with a serious dagger plunged straight in.
i believe that the giver of said dagger was not intending to do so, however i've been slow to recover. tears flooded in a way i haven't experienced in years. (yes, even from the silly B+ - that was a mere whimper and maybe one or two forced tears). but not this experience. nope, full-fledged waterfall of tears that continued for a couple of days.
sometimes old wounds are tapped in a way that we don't even recognize. this comment has affected my sleep, my confidence, my state of being. but its effects are subsiding. slowly but surely.
criticism is beneficial, but the presentation of criticism is the key factor. compassion being the operative word.
at first i intended to rebel. then give up, throw in the towel and be done with the nonsense i've done my best to handle for years. honestly, i go back and forth with this fairytale. yet i know that is the child in me wanting to pout. and pout. and pout some more.
instead i put my big girl pants back on and am doing my best to move forward as if the comment was never made.
sure i'm processing the comment. sure i'm trying to figure out why it cut to the core. sure it will take some healing. but basking in the negativity around it (espeically when i don't believe it was meant to cut as deeply as it did) is no way to grow.
doing my best to grow sans broken heart.