photo header-1.png

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Keeping in Touch: The Study of Myself

"If I love myself,
I love you.
If I love you,
I love myself."
~ Rumi

I happened upon the book The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz pretty much by accident. The title is enticing—which is why I had to read it right away—and also terrifying. It’s terrifying for me because I haven’t had much luck with love (the romantic kind) in recent years, and I’m afraid to read books that’ll tell me what I’ve been doing wrong. To my very pleasant surprise, the book did not tell me what I was doing wrong (as far as men are concerned,) and it emphasized what I can do right—at all times and in all places: love myself unconditionally. It sounds so easy and yet it takes a lifetime to master—hence, the mastery of love.

The book talks very little about romantic unions—though they certainly come up—and focuses primarily on your relationship with yourself. If you master self-love then you’ll automatically improve all your relationships—platonic, romantic, and familial. I had started to suspect this notion recently, and the book really brought it home . It states that other people cannot—under any circumstances—make us happy. They can only trigger the happiness that already exists inside. The bad news is, others can also trigger our jealousy and anger, too. The good news is we have it in our power to rid ourselves entirely of rage and insecurity, leading directly to a life free from hurtful comparisons to other people.

It sounds too good to be true, I know. It is in that this euphoric frame of mind will not happen overnight. Taking first step toward this mental paradise, however, can happen at any time. I'm gonna start walking . . .

Samara O'Shea is an author and professional letter writer. Visit her at or follow her on Twitter.

 photo sig.jpg


Kristine said...

Beautiful post, and the lessons it presents from the book are so true....and yet so difficult to integrate into our own being....or at least my own being. Many thanks for this.

Old-Fashioned Girl said...

Agreed. It's like seeing the promise land in the distance and saying, "But it's so far away. . ."

As Rumi says, "If all you can do is crawl. Start crawling!"