tonight's concert was AMAZING! she is raw, sexy, talented, an icon, and a darn good piano player. such a treat, even if i got soaked heading there and back. well worth it. i ended up getting a ticket that placed me in a row they wanted to keep handicap accessible, sooooooo they moved me to the 4th row. no complaints there.of course, i got home, lit a fire and candles, and made beau switch the tunes from hip hop to more tori. gotta hear more! she ended with hey jupiter. love that song. have played three times since i've been home. poor, poor beau and pug.
great questions regarding resentment. a girlfriend brought it up last night, too, with "i don't wanna pry, but what is going on?" basically i'm dealing with a poor decision i made (noted in a previous blog post about trusting my intuition) and all the emotions that come along with the clean-up.
i never think of resentment as jealousy. a friend recently shared feeling resentment/jealous toward women who have something she wants (relationship, career, etc.). i reminded her that women with things i want serve as inspiration and it really is a matter of reframing. i know, easier said that done. to me, resentment is anger toward someone for something they have done.
either way, once i get through the journey, i am happy to share insights regarding lessons learned and how best to cope. until then, i'm still in the muck and wading through as gracefully as possible. off to listen to more tori and watch another documentary while the rain pours outside. 'night.
2 comments:
Tori Amos is just amazing! I'm so happy you enjoyed the concert so much.
I absolutely agree that reframing resentment to, "I want that for myself, how awesome for that person" is the best way to go. Not always easy, but as you said, when you are through it, you will be a brighter star for it.
Blessings to you, Kimberly. I love how open you are with sharing your experience.
am a new reader of your blog and am enjoying it very much.
Just something to contemplate...
You said, about resentment, "...anger about something they have done." I would add, and that I am having difficulty accepting. (and usually, that I am taking personally as well) Resentment is stuck energy as opposed to anger that is fluid. Woman are taught not to be 'real' with their anger. And, thus we go underground with it, afraid to use our voice to say what we need to say to say to keep the anger moving and to release it. It's about our own expectations of how other people should behave and the expectations they hold for us.
When someone steps on our foot, our anger motivates us to tell the person to get off our foot! It helps us set our personal boundaries. If we are too afraid to tell them to get off our foot, we seethe with resentment. 'Can't they see that they're on my foot? How dare they step on my foot! I can't believe they're stepping on my foot!'Usually we need to tell them to get off our foot(although sometimes we are fine just removing our foot) And, how betrayed we feel that they stepped on it in the first place and how hurt we are that they didn't consider our feelings. etc.
When we've sorted ourselves out, spoken our truth when required and we still hold a resentment, the old AA suggestion of praying for them, that they receive all their dreams and more, or, in yogic terms recognizing their oneness with us, sets us free. Of course, we may end up spending a lot of time on our knees. :)
It's been my experience that the bigger the resentment the more rewarding the lesson.
Blessings, It's not easy work.
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