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Friday, August 10, 2007

dear hip tranquil chick . . .

Q: Forgive me if you've covered this, but I've often wondered how you overcome fear. You seem to charge forward with your dreams (starting the yoga studio in your living room, starting your clothing line, beading, writing a book, and working on a second) so do you find the courage to be you? Thanks!

A: Ah, this topic can never be covered enough, right? It's never easy to charge after your dreams, really. It takes a lot of strength, support, being in the right place at the right time, etc. Not saying it can't be done, just saying to be easy on yourself as it can often look like everyone is able to do it but you. In my mid-twenties I was in a horribly co-dependent, abusive relationship that was spiraling. I met a lovely woman at a journal writing workshop who I befriended and had tea with a few weeks after the workshop. She said to me, "I see a lot of potential in you, Kimberly." I'd never heard that before, or if I had, it didn't resonate like it did from her. That moment changed me. (This moment is why I started the Tranquil Space Foundation - I want girls to see this potential before their mid-twenties).

After that I began to take more control of my life. I ended the yucky relationship, immediately met a darling beau who was also a psychology buff and helped me see bigger pictures. Sure, I moved on from him after a year or so but continued to build this sense of self-confidence that had been destroyed from the former negative relationship. Slowly, I took control and began to build my world. It's been 9 years now since I got out of that relationship and dove into myself.

I began reading The Artist's Way, embraced the eccentric pieces of myself (such as hiking with a purse), slowly created based on what I craved (community, warmth, nurturing), and continue to dive head first into new projects that excite me. It may seem like these things happened quickly but they really didn't. It's been a long journey of undying passion, loads and loads of work, and many moments of questioning. However, when I feel something is right (not when I look at a spreadsheet with data - I despise numbers), I jump into it head first.

I find it helpful to explore fear - where is it coming from? Whose voice is it? What small steps can I take to move past it? AND find someone who says "I see potential in you!" It makes a BIG difference. Share this with others, let those who cross your path know they're doing a good job, that you see potential, that they have great style, that their e-mails are so creative, that that shade of lipgloss looks fab - whatever it is - you can truly change someone's path! Namaste.

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April said...

Fabulous! Thank you for sharing this. You truly are an inspiration to me in so many ways.

Anonymous said...

Kimberly, This blogger's question really resonated with me as I have recently left a job that I've been at for 15 years. I am about to begin a position in a new environment with new people. I am the type of person who has always struggled with changes in my life. I have a history of not rising to the occasion and trying to breath my way through anxiety provoking situations, often taking the easy way out and avoiding the challenge. Recently, I've begun to try to face and work through my doubts and anxiety in a more fearless and accepting way. Your answer to this question reminded me that most people struggle with change, self-doubt and anxiety and can break through to the other side successfully. Thanks for sharing. Laney
p.s. I have become a recent devotee of both your podcasts and your yoga clothing line! Your energy and positive attitude infuse my early morning walks with my dog before I head off to work!

Anonymous said...

Yes, as I learned this past weekend in a workshop with Sonia Choquette (friend of Julia Cameron) we need "believing eyes" to support our heart's desires and have to stop being lone rangers (such as myself). You, Kimberly, are a true set of believing eyes. Thank you for being YOU!