Thursday, February 08, 2007

naive to mindful

due to a crazy past two days, i haven't carved out the time to write. i've barely done my morning journal writing, although i have been getting up much earlier than normal. you ever have that feeling when you sit down to write and nothing is bubbling up? i don't think i can claim writer's block considering it's only been two days, but i'm finding the same dilemma with my journal.

today in journal class, i brought up this question - do others find that their attention to their journal waxes and wanes. some people looked at me in horror, the instructor said "yes!"

since i've been with beau, i'm not that joined-at-the-hip-to-my-journal girl i once was. during painful relationship periods, i've carried the little booger around with me everywhere as it was my therapist and way to process. now i do a lot of that processing through beau. however, i still want a strong relationship with my journal. i want us to be closer, more intimate.

our teacher encouraged us to write two half page stories about our day and to illustrate the bottom half. this should be a fun exercise as my journal writing can get rut-like. today i feel . . . i wish i . . . why blah blah blah. i really want this to change. he encouraged us to go from naive to mindful. genius! i want to do that in ALL aspects of my life. how can we go deeper? how can we move beyond "hi, how are you?" to really get to know someone? this exploration and excavation is exciting and scary.

i want to continue the journey from naive to mindful on the mat and in my journal. anyone want to join me?

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I still haven't tried journal writing although I am tempted to begin because of how much I hear you talk about it and how helpful it seems for you. For some reason, I'm scared to give it a shot. What will I write? What if someone finds it and reads it? Have you ever had anyone read your journal? Would that bother you? Do you keep all of your past journals and refer back to them? How personal do you get? I think we need a teleclass on journaling! ;o)

Emily said...

i just started up again with my journal at the start of the new year. i reopened it on the 1st of january and noticed that i had not journaled in a year and a half! plus 2006 was an incredibly crazy year for me as i was a newlywed and had just moved to another country. i went through SO many experiences and emotions and didn't write a thing down. bad me. is it wrong to not have anything to write and just write..."i have nothing to write today"? at least you can go back and see that you had those sort of days and it's okay. i think it's incredibly scary to be intimate and deeper with your journal. when i have those days where i have so many emotions to write down, i can't. i don't want to have it in my journal. i don't want to know that i can go back and read about again someday in the future. i don't want to have that marked down somewhere...permanently.

Anonymous said...

That's why REAL therapy is soooo helpful, psychotherapists are like living, breathing journals who can ask questions when you're feeling stuck, who can remember things you've discussed before and help make connections between old and new experiences, everything you spill out is kept and can be called upon (or left alone) anytime/for as long as you need. I encourage ALL hip tranquil chicks to seek out real therapy for themselves. Nothing beats journaling, I've journalled regularly since I was in elementary school, but my experience in therapy have been PHENOMENAL! UNBELIEVABLE! and FABULOUS! Talk about intimacy! There is something truly special about the relationship between a (good!) therapist and her/his client. The goal of therapy is to become more of who you already are, the therapist is there to help you be yourself with fullness and authenticity. Journalling can be a wonderful tool in this process, but nothing beats sitting with a real psychotherapist and doing the hard work of mining through your mind, memories, emotions and experiences to find out where you are stuck and how to unstick yourself. Goddess Bless my therapist and I wish for all of you to find a wonderful psychologist that you can connect with as well. It is wonderful!!

natalie said...

My journal writing tends to wax and wane, too. I think partly for the same reasons you mentioned, Kimberly. It also can become somewhat pedestrian for me. When I feel like I'm in a rut in my journal writing, it isn't all that helpful. Yet I'm beginning to wonder if that isn't the precise time I should be writing because you never know when an insight might arise. Or maybe that blah feeling is coming up for me because of a fear of going deeper? Anyway, I like your teacher's suggestion and definitely would benefit from trying new journal writing techniques to delve deeper and become more mindful. Thanks for continuing to share your ideas and experiences with us. By the way, a teleclass on journal writing as suggested above would be fantastic.

Jennifer said...

This is great advice! In March, I celebrate 20 years of journal writing, and my habits have changed drastically within that time.

I, too, tend to turn to my journal only when I'm super-happy or very sad, so when I read back it looks a bit like I've got wild mood swings. I love the idea of adding illustrations.

Carrie said...

Journal writing has always held such a romanticized image in my mind.
BUT... I've always wondered how do you get past the fear of knowing that all of your "secrets" are out there, tangible, just waiting for someone to read them???... like Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary.
Any advice?

Cupcakes & Yoga said...

I go through phases where I will write in my journal every day and then I'll go months without cracking the book open. There are times where I really force it just to write something, anything. It can be pretty fun although I admit that I usually don't go back to reread what I've written.

kimberly wilson said...

girls,

thanks for all the great commentary! i came across this link on oprah that i wanted to share: http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_2002/tows_past_20020624_exercises.jhtml