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Thursday, August 31, 2006

mindfulness is hard

i wish i had a more "sunshine and bunnies" approach to share after 5 days of yin yoga and mindfulness meditation training, but i have to confess that i found it VERY challenging. sure, i didn't expect it to be easy, but i certainly didn't expect it to be this hard. and, to top it off, kripalu now has WIFI in their cafe so my "retreat" was really more like a "fit e-mail and phone calls in between sessions" kind of experience.

i have no one to blame but myself and my severe addiction to being connected, however this training and time away really brought my "problem" to the forefront of my consciousness. and, to top it off, my cell phone decided to stop downloading e-mails. maybe that isn't a problem to a normal person, however i am distraught. ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but pained nonetheless.

sarah powers
is an amazing teacher. she is full of insight and integrity. i was lucky enough to sit down with her for an interview today and i can't wait to share her wisdom through a future podcast. she exudes a true state of tranquility and passion for the concept of mindfulness.

i am up early tomorrow and have three flights that finally land me home to oklahoma, my homeland. first time home in four years and i'm excited to return for a family reunion. considering my parents have moved out to the country where DSL is not yet available, i will be offline effective tomorrow. never fear, i'll return with ALL sorts of stories on monday night.

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is a hoot. i'm looking forward to connecting to some old friends, seeing my amazing gramma, sleeping in my parent's new country home, and introducing louis and beau to my roots. mom says there is a tractor pull. um, i think i'll skip that one. however, what i can't skip is the new winery that has popped up. can you stand it? an oklahoma winery! i can't wait to hear country music, go two-steppin', and sip some fabulous oklahoma wine. yum.

i also plan to leave these 10 days of trainings with a deeper sense of connection to the present moment. how much of life is spent planning what's next, not truly listening to the person in front of you, multi-tasking, and missing the moment? for me, too many at times. i'm naturally a pistol. my nickname as a little girl was "the white tornado" because i was in to everything. that hasn't stopped, but i am learning to work with my nature and trying to do so without judgment. thank god for yoga.

i will search for more "extraordinarily ordinary experiences" in life. i will incorporate meditation into my day. yep, every day. hold me to this. i gotta sit still! i will try to take a deep breath before i speak so i do so with intention. i will do at least one yin pose every day, followed by yang (vinyasa), savasana, and meditation. i will try to take one full day off a week. you know what they say, telling others your plan makes you feel more inclined to do it. that's what i'm doing here. thank you for holding me accountable. i look forward to finding mindfulness less hard in the future. namaste and humbly yours.

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Regina said...

Thanks for sharing so much in this post, Kimberly. I saw so much of myself as I was reading this. Yes, thank God for yoga, and thank God for women like you that share their life and their hopes and dreams with others. Have a wonderful time with your family- can't wait for all the news and new interviews!

Anonymous said...

Yes, and all this is getting even harder when you're becoming aware of it. However, it's definitely better to know your mind is jumping from one thing to the next, making stillness nearly impossible, than remaining ignorant about it - be it consciously or not. Your decisions and determination sound great, but then what else could we expect! Have fun at home!

Anonymous said...

Hello, where can i find your RSS feed?

I can only see the itunes feed, i dont use itunes, would be nice to able to subscribe but....

Anonymous said...

For a few weeks of reading this post I kept thinking about it. It happens that I’m usually thinking about what I’m going to do next, what next? What next? And don’t fully enjoy what I’m doing at the present moment. If I’m jogging I’ll think about the yoga, in the middle of yoga I’ll think about preparing dinner, during dinner I’ll think about preparing for bed, and so on. This past days, too overcome the issue, whenever I find myself thinking about the “next” I’ll focus on my breathing (when I remember, that is). Breathing gets me in the “now”.

If any of you have suggestions, please share them.