today is the 100th birthday of my beloved gramma. in anticipation of this special day, i kept it as open as possible to write and reflect while still planning to teach my two classes tonight. this has all changed.
woke up and proceeded as normal - fed and nurtured animals, penned meatless monday blog post, prioritized MITs for the day/week, spread the word online for wednesday's pigs sanctuary event. then it hit me. a big wave o' grief. i put out an unanticipated request for subs and tears were able to flow. i'm not much of a crier. prefer to be somewhat stoic despite my girly nature. not today.
pulling together this collage was therapeutic. the laughter, the chocolate, the cards, the love of accessories, the naps, the yoga that we shared. we had a good run and i was blessed to have her in my life 38.5 years. yet it wasn't enough. i want more. selfish? maybe.
i've scheduled a massage this evening (how i nurtured myself upon returning home after being with her when she died february 20) and plan to go slowly the rest of the day. it's hard to know how best to honor her on this anniversary of her birth. i'm holding tight and letting it unfold naturally with only a dose of self-care on the schedule. feels like what the doctor ordered.