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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

tranquilosophy: on my mind

shelves full of blank journals beckoning your penned dreams

during my time at the world domination summit (#wds2012), i took heaps of notes, enjoyed sessions with inspiration powerhouses such brene brown, scott harrison (charity:water founder), danielle laporte, scott belsky, and susannah conway, and emerged feeling a bit, well, untapped. 

what do i mean by untapped? that sinking feeling that your ship has sailed, other {younger} people are doing amazing things (i mean, come on, charity water rocks), and you're in a state of stand still. nothing feels more uncomfortable to me than stand still. clearly something i want to and continue to work on. mindfulness, here i continue to come.

this feeling began after hearing scott's amazing story and thinking of my own big dreams for activist efforts. sadly, the feeling continued through the entire summit. the summit ended with the summit founder, chris guillebeau, giving us each a $100 bill as we exited and challenging us to "start a project, surprise someone, or do something entirely different." geniusly aligned with his awesome book, $100 startup.

 my $100 - promise to share what happens to it

even yesterday while chatting with fellow participant sweet liz lamoreux at susannah conway's book event, it was clear that many of us were processing so much from the weekend. ideas, inspiration, next steps, and ways to be. however, i haven't been able to quite shake that nagging feeling of being untapped. and i was frustrated with myself for not having an action plan yet. i mean, it had been nearly 24 hours since i left the summit! hmmm, patience *is* a virtue.

it's the first time in awhile that i haven't been in the midst of launching something new or filled with a plan. instead, i only have my life planned through may 2013 when i finish social work grad school and am contemplating {insert drum roll} spending next summer in france writing and being. ok, so that takes me through august 2013, then what? 

after further reflection (and there is still lots of it to do), i believe the untapped feeling comes with being in this odd state of "in between." in alignment with the summit's theme, i'm eager to live a remarkable life in a conventional world and questioning the how. how do i take all my weekend notes and infuse them into my daily life? how do i live a remarkable life in a conventional world? how do i live more mindfully? how do i know i'm doing enough? how to i make a difference for the animals? how do i . . . on and on and on. 

all smiles with sweet susannah

ever have these feelings and moments of questioning? having devoted the past 13 years to the birth and growth of my baby, tranquil space, plus various offspring (TranquiliT, tranquility du jour, tranquil space foundation), i'm slowly transitioning. to what? i don't know. definitely don't plan to send my babies off to college as i'm too attached. yet i have this longing feeling to connect, sink deeper within, and slow down. time will tell. in the interim, i need to battle my own untapped feelings and remember that i am enough. we are enough. you are enough. 

while standing in the journal section of powell's last night (top image), i smiled in recognition of all the dreams, hopes, and fears that will soon be penned into these beautiful beings. now, take a moment and answer this question: how will you live a remarkable life in a conventional world? here are my off the cuff thoughts:

seek beauty
give freely
sprinkle sunshine
bask in being different
 embrace change
leave a small eco footprint
leave a big "heartprint" (oui, i made that word up - a bad habit)

 et toi? it's a big question worthy of big journaling. 
oh, and a gentle reminder, you. are. enough.
bisous. x

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Kirsten said...

Hi Kimberly,

Oh my! After reading blog posts about WDS, I echo your feeling of feeling "untapped"!! That has been my feeling this week also for some reason.......

I, too, am eager to live a "remarkable life in a conventional world" and find questioning how to go about doing so.

So I see a huge and maybe a series of dates with journaling to see how I launch out of where I am.


goodmoodyogagirl said...

Hello Kimberly! I have been at a standstill fumbling around & just very recently jumped back on to your blog, books, The Tranquility Project info from Fall 11, the recent July download of Tranquilologie & my Art Journal! Amazing how quickly things are rolling through me & although it is small, I am starting by simply being more kind & in the moment. I hope to make someone's day everyday with a kind word or gesture. Being out of myself instead of holding inward is so helpful in getting to the next phase of my lfe's journey. I hope to laugh daily & learn something new constantly. Many sparkles to you!!!

Anonymous said...

Kimberly, let me start by saying.. You do AMAZING things, you really do. You have been such an inspiration to so many people in so many ways.. It's funny I have to say that sometimes I look at accomplished and wonderfully inspiring people like you and think I should have done more, I need to do more etc..

I have to say once I get past this point, I try and really get to the core of what I am wanting the truth of it, the heart. What about what this person is doing, or has done do I want to bring into my life. Sometimes it's as "Simple" as the feeling I think that thing would bring. Sometimes we realize that we are already doing the things that give us that feeling, that is so easy to forget in the midst of feeling like we need to catch up.
If I may, I would suggest making a list of accomplishments, things you are proud of, celebrations etc just to give yourself a reminder of all that you have done (and it's a BUNCH!)
Give yourself time to be still and really tap into where those feelings of comparing are coming from.. because you rock and you should remind yourself of that!

I will live a remarkable life in a conventional world by continuing to express myself, live my purpose, define what success looks and feels like to me, be kind to myself and be kind to others, continue seeking and hopefully providing inspiraiton!

Helen said...

I think this feeling is similar to planting a garden. The installation is exciting. The work is hard, you sweat, you dig, you plant, you haul. So satisfying.

But then the real effort begins, you have to water when it doesn't rain, weed when it is necessary, prune etc. It isn't as exciting and it isn't as challenging, but this work makes the garden thrive.

It is important to remember that if you don't continue to nurture what you created, it won't produce as you'd hoped. Not as sexy as planting, but in the end reaping and sharing the harvest or enjoying the flowers was the reason for starting out.

Try not to feel untapped, try to enjoy caring for your projects and businesses as you wait to see what next inspires you. I'm sure you will continue to do wonderful things for our planet and I look forward to reading about your efforts.

Rachel said...

Oh this post sums up exactly how I'm feeling at the moment. That feeling as though my ship has sailed. As though younger, more energetic people are doing what I "should" (hate that word) be doing.

But ultimately it's all rubbish. Because we are all enough. Right now. Right here. Doing this. Breathing. Smiling. Being.

And Helen, I just love your analogy of a garden. I've copied that into my journal to ponder at leisure in the future :)

Tanya said...

Hi Kimberly,
Thank you for such an authentic and generous post. You have always inspired me, and this post simply affirms that you continue to strive to create meaningful work. Please know that your authenticity and simple delights always fill me up when I have "untapped" moments. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

While you may feel like your stuck right now, perhaps take a moment to relish in all that you have done! Plus, it might not be a bad thing to have a moment to breathe for a chick that is on-the-go so much. ;)

I have no doubt that once you slow down a bit from your travels and bust open your art journals that new ideas will emerge.

anaottman said...

After being there at WDS with you, I think it's fair to say I can empathize with where you're at. I think it's far too easy to compare ourselves to others and feel like we don't measure up. I love the quote that has been bouncing around the internet lately that says something like: "You're comparing your insides to their outsides."

I'm taking the opportunity to channel the feelings of "what the hell have I accomplished" into motivation for bigger, more impact-full projects.

You're an inspiration to so many, I hope you realize how powerful that is.


Sarah said...

Thanks for opening up about this Kimberly. You are clearly such an accomplished, vibrant person that it's kind of eye-opening to see that even you feel insecure and "not enough" at times. I think it's great that there is so much desire and passion at conventions like this, but I also believe that people just need to relax. Like really, really relax and let go. We don't have to prove ourselves so much. The connections and relationships you build with people are just as important as the "wow" projects you take on. Savoring the moment, being grateful for the little things... that's what makes a life shine from the inside out. With the internet and the blogosphere and social networking, there is so much anxiety, so much presentation. It's beautiful but it's also dangerous, because instead of appreciating what we are and what we have to offer, we feel less than. Think about the people you really look up to in your own life - maybe a family member or a friend. Chances are you don't admire them just because they are accomplished or because they started an amazing nonprofit or launched their own business. You admire them because of the love they share and the person they are - their laugh, their smile, the way they understand you and reach out to you. That's the core. That's what matters. Not all this show. Not all this "change the world... right now!!!" stuff.

Sarah said...

Loved this post, Kimberly. It really resonated with me. So great to be with you at the workshop on Friday evening about Living Your Yoga. Really enjoyed it!

Can't wait to hear what you do with that $100 ;)