blue tights + blue pansies
"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living." gail sheehy
bonjour my lovelies. this week began with a boom. monday (the day gramma died) is always hard and the one-month anniversary of gramma's death (tuesday) left me incapacitated. i slowly rebounded the next day but waves of grief are oddly fascinating and feel like riding an emotional roller coaster sans squeals of glee. i'm learning to ride them as best i can while gratefully realizing that each and every day is different. i purchased grieving mindfully: a compassionate and spiritual guide to dealing with loss and look forward to diving into it this weekend. seemed right up my alley!
i've been pondering some sort of transition and alluded to it in my week in reviews. i know my final year of graduate school will be a challenging one due to a 20-hour internship at amtrak's employee assistance program, 4 final classes, and various endeavors. with the passing of my gramma, i've been pushed toward a transition in a way unexpected. a move i knew i must make. i need time and space to mourn, process the grief, and prepare for my intense final year of graduate school. thus, i've decided to take a semi-sabbatical from my day-to-day efforts at tranquil space (my baby of nearly 13 years) and i sent the team a memo today. here are snippets of it:
"Dearest Team: I'm writing to update you on an important upcoming change at Tranquil Space "world headquarters." Effective May 15, 2012 - May 15, 2013 I will be taking a semi-sabbatical and slowly phasing out my day-to-day over the next 7 weeks. Since starting this seedling in my living room nearly 13 years ago, I've found myself eating, sleeping, and breathing this beloved baby. Plus I have also been nurturing new "babies" - TranquiliT, books, Tranquil Space Foundation, podcast/blog, Tranquil Space Arlington, and my latest grad program at the same time.
You'll still find me teaching my regular classes and offerings during my semi-sabbatical plus working on creative and strategic measures for Tranquil Space behind the scenes. I believe it is good for business owners to take a step back, build on successes, and brainstorm fresh ideas.
Thank you for your support during this time of bereavement and for being the most amazing cOMmunity ever. I am honored to be able to work with such a talented, thoughtful team. "
it was so hard to hit "send." made it oddly real and almost surreal. i felt it deep inside my heart and belly. ah, the practice of yoga! next i made it to campus and snapped the above shot. loving nature's canopy this spring. today's non-profit management guest teacher spoke on the practice of staff development. she emphasized the importance of self-care for managers and stated "you need to bring your A game to the office everyday." a light bulb went off. that is my problem right now, i can't bring my A game to everything at the moment and it's an indication that i need to regroup and focus on self-care. many beloved team members have proclaimed that this is long overdue. hmmm, thanks . . . i think!
what are the chances that this guest teacher would offer such insights on this transition moments after i send a memo? synchronicity at work. moments of tranquilosophy. anyone else dabbling in the experience of transition? it's scary, gut wrenching, empowering, and exhilarating all rolled into one. sending transitional love your way. bisous. x