Saturday, August 08, 2009

pops + sunflowers = different beat

look at my proud papa among his oklahoma sunflowers. most of his surrounding neighbors in the countryside are raising cattle. instead pops likes to let his grass grow wild and wouldn't want to see it consumed by cattle. he turned to growing sunflowers out of frustration over the cost of birdseed. apparently feeding his beloved birds was making a dent in his pocketbook and the most expensive part of it was the sunflower seeds. so, being a wise fellow, he decided to grow his own sunflowers to save on birdseed costs and look how proud he is!

one thing i've always admired about my pops is that he marches to a different drummer. always has. always will. ironically, christmas 2003 when i was home restating my decision to not get married or make babies (isn't that a typical topic in most families over the holidays?), pops asked, "why are you so different?" i had to laugh. pot calling the kettle noir.

marching to the beat of your own drummer, letting go of societal or family pressure, and wearing your eccentricities on your sleeve can reap amazing rewards: authenticity, happiness, and connection to your core.

are you marching to your authentic beat? if not, what small changes can you make to reconnect with your inner beat? even if it means being a sunflower grower among cattle-raisers.

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Art Visions said...

Loved this dad is also a man who marched (and continues to march despite his health problems) to a different drummer! And people have always wondered about what makes me tick (as well as where my sense of humor comes from).

Long live the Dads who have their own unique style and the daughters who inherited it! :-)

Yogadiva said...

I realize this question may be way too personal, and I will totally and completely understand if you choose to ignore it, but I feel the need to ask: How did you come to the decision not to have kids? I feel like it's so expected in our society that most women do it because they don't feel like they have any other choice. I think those who do make the decision not to are incredibly couragous and strong. Was this something you wrestled a lot with or did you just know?

kimberly wilson said...

dearest yogadiva,

ask away!

growing up in oklahoma i felt there was a path for women and didn't see diversions from it until i was older. these diversions gave me insights into "doing things differently."

i recall my childless 8th grade english teacher answering many "why don't you have kids?" questions. she simply stated that she and her husband enjoyed the sense of freedom they felt as a couple without children. i was surprised, but her "different beat" stuck with me.

during my college + grad school exposure to women's studies, yoga, and life in general, i began to explore "the road less traveled" with gusto. j'adore babies (especially little girls dolled out in pink), but have never felt the urge to have my own.

surround yourself with like-minded people. pressure to be like everyone else can be tough. i encourage you to explore your own path, question what you "should" do, and make decisions that are authentically you. you deserve it and, of course, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind along the way. childless or not.

Yogadiva said...

Thank you so much for your response! Truly, I appreciate it. I am always interested to hear what thought process goes into a woman's decision not to have a child.

My husband and I would like to have a child; however, neither one of us feel like our sole purpose on earth is to be parents. I don't have this deep yearning to have a baby like it seems so many other women do. Interestingly, I have been having fertility issues and for about 4 months now I have been taking medications to try to get pregnant with no success. To be quite honest, sometimes the people I tell that I'm having these fertility issues to seem more upset about it than I am. I love my life as it is, (but then as one of my good friends says, people who don't love their life probably shouldn't be having a baby.) I also think I would be a fabulous Mom and my hubby and I have so much love to offer a little one. The thought of having a little person in our lives made of half him and half me would be incredible. And, I do believe that being a parent is probably one of the biggest spiritual teachers ever. At this point, I'm really trying to trust that if it's meant to be, it will be! (However, this sort of surrender can tend to be a bit challenging for my type A personality--especially when my clock is ticking!)

Thanks, again!