Wednesday, January 30, 2008

happy leadershipping

bon soir!

the past two days have been filled with information and exhaustion. today's session was all-day and then we had an evening lecture. back to the b & b to oodles of e-mail and just settling in for bed. i'm learning a lot and struggling a lot. we're doing a bit of experiential work and i live in my head so much that i struggle to hear what my body is telling me. sure i know when my heart center is heavy or tight but i use my head to solve problems, not my body. that is an interesting shift in being holistic!

we discussed having conscious conversations which i thought was very helpful -
1. "own" your motivation
2. focus on what you really want
3. name the issue and describe the situation
4. share feelings, consequences, and needs
5. inquire into the other's views and experiences
6. brainstorm possible solutions and commit to actions

there is a lot of focus on personal responsibility (duh! tres important) and being a player rather than a victim. for example, a victim responds to:
1. what happened to you?
2. who wronged you?
3. how did they hurt you?
4. what should they do to make it right?
5. what are the consequences to you if they don't change?

a player responds to:
1. what challenge did you face?
2. how did you choose to respond?
3. what are the consequences of your actions?
4. could you have done something more productive?
5. what can you learn?

i loved this quote shared by emerson: what you do speaks so loud, i can't hear what you say.

powerful stuff, eh?

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4 comments:

April said...

Sounds very similar to "Non-violent communication" by Marshall Rosenburg.

If you haven't read it...seriously, read it. I read it in college, then re-read it within a group setting and got different, but complementary, experiences.

Lots of connection with other people, lots of connection with your feelings/needs.

So innocuous, and very revolutionary, in my notsoveryhumble opinion.

www.cnvc.org

sarah said...

Kimberly --

LOVE the new TS website!! Gorgeous.

Rachel said...

Kimberly, thanks so much for sharing these powerful questions. I'm going to print them and hang them someplace where I'm sure to see them next time I'm thinking "poor me."

lori said...

I totally agree with April. NVC is tres powerful.

We're starting a NVC study group, in my studio, this month. It's amazing how we can calm challenging situations with our hearts and words.