this morning's session focused on connecting with our dreamer, realist, and critic on our particular project. it was an interesting experience for most as these are three different sides to ourself when we work to accomplish anything, right?
last night after teaching yoga, i felt a need to do something different and skipped the evening session to drive the enchanted circle in my little silver sport's car. it was just what i needed. i listened to country stations and sang any old songs that i recognized at the top of my lungs. my only stop was for a loo break and to purchase a big bottle of water plus a big stick of strawberry taffy. yum! as i headed back out, police stopped me as there was a mudslide they were cleaning up that i had to wait on. the joy of the mountains.
after this morning's session, i received an urgent e-mail from the studio to call. i was saddened to hear that a fellow yogini and friend had taken her life. how do you even absorb such news? she was in a recent workshop of mine, had signed up for last week's sassy sadhana teleclass, was a gem, and gave no clues. i'm still processing this 3 hours later and having trouble settling into write when something so catastrophic has happened. i called a colleague who was also close to her and she, too, is in shock, asking "what could i have done? i would have helped her," etc. suicide is such a deeply personal. just last week a fellow yogini shared that her beau's brother had committed suicide and the family was struggling to deal with it. here is a link to some suicide loss FAQs in case you, too, have lost anyone.
i will attempt to return to writing, maybe head to town to browse some books, and see what i can do to shake this yucky feeling.
10 comments:
I find it odd reading this as this very evening driving home my mother called to tell me a former classmate killed himself. Its a puzzling feeling and I too can't quite absorb why this has happened. Life is such a gift for me, even through the low parts...they've made me who I am...its just a shock that anyone wants to voluntarily step out of the journey.
I'm so sorry about that news. That's a tough one to wrap your brain around. The friend/yogini's now-obvious pain is going to cause a lot of people to pause. What is sad is that this person was so unaware of the people's lives around her that she touched. Someone in that much pain probably could have never seen that.
i'm so sorry to hear of this tragedy... sending thoughts, prayers, and comfort to her family and friends.
-Carolyn
Kimberly,
I hope you'll reach out to the family of your friend who died. It has been my experience that people react very oddly to suicides and people tend to avoid reaching out to the family/loved ones because it feels so awkward and its such a terribly confusing kind of death. A kind note would probably mean a lot since survivors of suicide often feel isolated...
Like my mother always says, "you never know what its like to walk in someone else's shoes." Everything may seem fine on the surface, but once you peel back those layers you never know what's there.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am always saddened by this kind of news. It always sets me back. But it also makes me try to give something to each person that I come in contact with every day...even if it is just a smile or compliment. As yoga teaches us, we are all one and even someone elses troubles are part of us.
As an alum of last week's telecast class, I was deeply saddened to hear of a fellow HTC's passing. As one who has experienced depression, and survived to tell the tale, it can sometimes be more unbearable than anyone who hasn't gone thru it can comprehend!! It is a VERY dark, and oftentimes shameful place, and can be very difficult, if not impossible to share. However, there is hope for anyone suffereing in this way! Pleease take the excruciating step to reach out toward the light!! National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 18002738255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
your comments are very helpful and heartwarming. thank you all. and thank you kimberly, for writing about our dear and very missed friend. -kelly t.
I am so sorry to hear the news about your friend. I have suffered depression off and on over the years. I agree with hwj's comments that you often don't know what layers lie within a person. I have often in the past felt ashamed to share my feelings because I felt that I would isolate myself from others and felt different. The best thing that you can do is what gypsy girl said and give something to each person that you come into contact with. I know that I have been able to deal with my stuff because I came into contact with people that care about me for me with all my flaws and just want me to be happy.
To all who knew this woman and ache, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. There is nothing you can do, or could have done. Take comfort in the fact that she is surely at peace now.
When my brother did this, that is all I could cling to, and still hold to that hope in heart today. You are in my prayers.
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